Here’s a scenario you might relate to…
You’ve decided to tackle your emotional eating and lose weight. But as soon as you start thinking about what that will take, it feels big.
Like…hugely-overwhelming-big.
Like…I’m-paralysed-with-anxiety-overwhelming-big.
It’s a lot like knowing you really should look for a new job whilst you’re in the job you absolutely hate…
…but you continue to put up with it because it’s harder to find a new one than it is to stay and suffer. [Go figure!]
And dealing with your emotional eating and weight is not just about cutting back on snacks or skipping dessert. It’s the idea of changing everything about how you eat, think, and live.
It’s not even the work itself that feels overwhelming [well, mostly]. It’s how you’re thinking about the work.
Because many women in midlife approach this transformation with the belief that it has to be extreme.
“Just fast for 16 hours a day.”
“Replace meals with shakes.”
But all of this advice comes from a place that doesn’t understand you AT ALL…a midlife woman balancing family, work, and your own health while managing emotional eating and menopause symptoms. And don’t get me started on chronic pain and disease, and mental health!
Obviously with all of this on your mind as well as so many responsibilities and challenges, these big sweeping changes feel impossible. So you stay stuck.
One symptom of this overall problem is overcomplicating the solution – a case of “too big”.
Emotional eating feels like a monster to tame because for one, the psychological root cause is ignored, and two, you’ve been led to believe the only way to fix it is by doing all the things at once. It’s what diet culture teaches us.
Ignoring the root cause for the second, for the purposes of the exercise, let’s look at it through the lens of point two above, and think about where you’re at in life.
You might be juggling personal transitions [like moving or becoming an empty nester], professional challenges [maybe a career change or retirement], and the endless tasks that come with being the go-to person for everyone in your family.
Add to that menopause symptoms like brain fog, anxiety, and fatigue, and it’s no wonder you feel like you just don’t have the bandwidth to “fix” emotional eating.
And let’s go one more, if you have neurodevelopmental challenges such as ADHD, you struggle with tasks as it is, so adding more to the list is definitely going to feel overwhelming.
But the solution isn’t as big as it seems. In fact, the secret lies in breaking it into smaller, doable steps that build on each other.
My 9-step hierarchy framework is designed for exactly this reason – to help you take one step at a time, in the right order, so that each change feels manageable and sustainable. No more trying to do everything all at once.
For example, one of the first steps focuses on understanding your brain’s survival instincts and how they play into emotional eating.
This step alone can be a game-changer because it shifts the way you think about food and cravings.
It’s not about willpower or starving yourself – it’s about learning why your brain is driving those behaviours in the first place.
From there, we address other root causes like hormonal changes, emotional dysregulation, and the way midlife transitions add layers of stress. Each step helps you gain clarity, confidence, and control without feeling like you’re drowning in the process.
If I was to simplify it, that’s the bottom half of the hierarchy.
It’s the path from birth that led you to where you are today. Without understanding this critical first step, you will never have the willpower to lose unwanted weight [whatever that is for you].
When you understand how our primitive brain and motivational triad works, combined with emotional dysregulation – willpower never wins.
Then there’s the top half of the hierarchy.
It’s the path required to reach your Midlifestyle Fit for Purpose™. Again, without understanding and doing the work in the bottom half of the hierarchy, the top half will be hard.
But even the top [just like the bottom half] is simplified and thought-out taking into account what needs to be tackled first without introducing too much at once – before attempting the next step in the hierarchy.
The goal is to create steps that are sustainable for life. If you look at it like a game [the last one I played that I can remember was Donkey Kong – anyone???]. You could not proceed to the next level until you’d mastered the current level. And the same thinking applies to my 9-step hierarchy.
You see, when you stop seeing emotional eating as one massive problem and start tackling it in smaller pieces, you can’t help but feel hopeful. You realise it’s not about being perfect or following a strict diet and that it’s about understanding yourself and making changes that fit your life, not someone else’s.
So, if you’ve been feeling blocked, like emotional eating and weight loss are just too big to handle, I want you to know this…it’s definitely not you. Unfortunately, it’s just the way you’ve been taught to think about it.
Simplifying the process, step by step, is the way to moving forward. And once you see how each piece fits together, you’ll realise it’s not as overwhelming as it seems. Because honestly, you’ve got this.
Healing emotional eating is like Andy Dufresne escaping Shawshank in the movie ‘The Shawshank Redemption’ [one of my absolute-all-time favourite movies]. It wasn’t about rattling the bars of his cell or trying to overpower the guards. It was about chipping away at the wall bit by bit, day after day, with patience and determination, until he’d literally carved a path to freedom. Now that transformation comes not from force, but from persistence and the belief that a better life waits on the other side. I just love that message!
So, the way to heal emotional eating and unblock yourself isn’t about doing more. It’s not about adding stricter rules…or finding the perfect diet…or even powering through with sheer will. It’s about something deeper – changing how you think and feel about the transformation itself.
Right now, you might feel stuck because every solution you’ve tried before came from the outside.
A program told you what to eat, a trainer told you how to move, or a plan told you when to fast.
Those approaches treat emotional eating as a behaviour to be controlled instead of a signal to be understood. And the one insight that changed everything for me, is this.
Emotional eating isn’t the problem. It’s a message.
It’s your brain and body trying to protect you, to soothe you, to fill an unmet need. Every time you reach for food when you’re not hungry, it’s not because you’re weak or lacking willpower. It’s because your brain sees food as the fastest way to feel better. It’s a survival instinct – a pattern wired into you that you didn’t choose but can absolutely change.
The interesting thing here is it shifts the focus away from fighting yourself to understanding yourself.
You’re not battling cravings or forcing yourself to eat “clean.” Instead, you’re getting curious about what your brain and body are really asking for.
And emotional eating is all about “how we feel”. Right?!
Maybe you’ve been feeling emotionally unsteady – anxious, lonely, or invisible as you navigate all the changes midlife brings. Because as someone going through midlife transitions, I can categorically say first-hand – it’s an absolute roller-coaster of a ride [who knew?!].
Food has become a reliable substitute for comfort, connection, or a sense of control – always available at a moment’s notice. But those needs can’t be truly satisfied by a cookie…no matter how good it tastes.
And deep down, you know that, too. What you might not know, though, is how to meet those needs in a way that works for you and fits into your already-overloaded life.
This is where healing begins – and don’t get me started with a meal plan or a rulebook. You’ve got to start with a small, compassionate step toward understanding yourself.
“Why can’t I stop eating?”
“What am I feeling right now? What do I need?”
That single question interrupts the autopilot cycle and creates space for change.
From there, you can start rewiring the patterns that keep you stuck.
Of course, you can argue, how does simply stopping to pause and ask the question, really stop you.
And there’s your side of the bargain where you want to change. And when you want to change, and believe in the process, the pause works.
My 9-step framework does exactly this by teaching you how to recognise and respond to your brain’s survival instincts.
It’s not about quick fixes but about small, doable shifts that build on each other. You’re replacing the old pattern – emotional eating – with new, sustainable ways to care for yourself. And because it’s tailored to your life, it doesn’t feel like another impossible task on your to-do list.
What makes this approach different is how deeply it honours where you are right now. Because conventional wisdom tells you to push harder, to ignore your feelings and just “stick to the plan.”
But what I’ve created is designed to respect the reality of your life. It understands that midlife is already full of challenges like balancing work, family, menopause, and your own health [and ADHD if you’re like me].
It’s certainly not about adding more pressure. It’s about meeting yourself with the kind of compassion and support you’ve been giving everyone else for years.
So instead of feeling like you’re at war with your body, you start to feel like you’re on the same team.
Instead of beating yourself up for eating, you learn to listen to what your cravings are really telling you.
I know this change might not feel like it’s not going to solve your weight problem because it’s so subtle at first – but it’s the foundation for everything else.
It’s what makes real, lasting change possible – not because you’re forcing yourself to do it, but because you finally feel ready.
When you stop seeing emotional eating as a failure and start seeing it as a message, everything changes.
You realise the power isn’t in some external plan or system – it’s actually in you.
And step by step, you begin to heal in a way that feels both manageable and deeply personal.
That’s how you move forward.
That’s how you finally find your way out.
When you start to address emotional eating as a message instead of a problem, it creates a ripple effect that touches every part of your life.
It’s like flipping a switch.
Suddenly, the energy you spent battling yourself gets redirected into understanding and supporting yourself.
That’s where the transformation begins, and it’s what sets you on the path to achieving your ultimate outcome…feeling lighter, freer, and more at peace in your body and mind.
This change doesn’t happen overnight, but it doesn’t need to take forever, either. The timeline depends on where you’re starting, but most women begin to notice a change within weeks of taking those first small steps.
You might realise you’re no longer reaching for food the moment stress hits or that you’re pausing to ask yourself what you really need.
Those moments of awareness grow into habits, and those habits build the foundation for lasting change.
As the weeks and months go by, you’ll start to see how this process connects to the bigger picture.
By understanding the “why” behind your emotional eating and rewiring the patterns that have kept you stuck, you’ll naturally start to make choices that align with the life you want.
That might mean feeling confident walking into a room without worrying about how your clothes fit.
It might also mean waking up with energy instead of dread.
And it might even mean sitting down to a meal and enjoying it without guilt or second-guessing every bite.
The beauty of this approach is that it’s sustainable. Instead of burning out trying to follow a rigid plan, you’ll create a rhythm that works for your unique life.
The weight loss becomes a byproduct of the deeper work you’re doing – work that also helps you feel calmer, more focussed, and more in control.
And because you’re addressing the root causes, the results last.
You’re not cycling through diets or relying on quick fixes anymore. You’re building something solid.
Try to imagine where you could be six months from now: lighter, not just in your body but in your spirit. You’re carrying less shame, less stress, and fewer of the old habits that weighed you down.
And then imagine a year from now, when you look back and realise how far you’ve come – not because you forced yourself to change but because you finally gave yourself permission to grow.
This is what’s possible when you shift the focus from controlling food to understanding yourself. It’s not just about losing weight, it’s about gaining freedom. And that’s the outcome that truly matters.
Because when you’re struggling with emotional eating and trying to lose weight, it really can feel like being dropped into a maze with no map and every turn feels like a dead end.
And instead of feeling in control with the plans and rules which don’t stick, you’re exhausted and overwhelmed, wondering if it’s even possible to find your way out.
I know the challenges you’re facing are deeper than diet plans and fitness routines – because they’re rooted in our primitive brain’s wiring, and neurodevelopmental conditions like ADHD and emotional dysregulation, combined with the hormonal shifts of menopause. When you understand that first, THEN you can lose 5kg every month effortlessly.
And I know I’m repeating myself – but it’s not just about what you’re eating – it’s about why. It’s about the stress, the cravings, the emotions you can’t seem to escape and tackling all of that at once feels impossible.
You don’t have to do it all at once. And you don’t have to do it alone.
In Midlifestyle School, the curriculum is designed to start with the small but powerful shifts that make a difference. We untangle the mess step by step, piece by piece. We uncover why your brain and body react the way they do and equip you with the tools to calm the chaos and take back control.
You’ll learn how to quiet the emotions that drive overeating so they don’t feel so overwhelming.
You’ll work with your body’s natural rhythms instead of constantly fighting against them.
And you’ll navigate the hormonal, emotional, and mental changes of midlife without feeling like you’re drowning.
This isn’t about throwing another rulebook at you. It’s about meeting you where you are, helping you take a breath, and guiding you forward one step at a time.
Because what feels impossible today will feel manageable tomorrow. And over time, manageable becomes second nature. That’s how transformation happens – not through huge leaps, but through steady progress that builds momentum.
Your goal isn’t just to lose weight. It’s to gain freedom…
Freedom from the cycles of guilt and shame…
Freedom from the endless frustration…
And freedom from the belief that it’s too late for you to change…
I know how overwhelming this feels. But I also know what’s possible when you take that first step.
You are not alone in this, and you don’t have to keep wandering through the maze on your own.
You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.
I’m a visionary with a big heart and a huge mission. If you’ll let me, let’s make peace with our past and design a second half of life worth living for!
