Are you really waking up at 3am craving food – because it’s so much more than that?
For midlife women, those early-morning wake-ups are more than likely linked to hormonal changes, stress, and the brain’s way of trying to keep you safe. I mean, sure, perhaps cravings might show up, but they’re usually just a symptom of something deeper happening in your body and mind.
It’s a common struggle [I’d say universal – there’s not one woman I know who’s not waking up in the middle of the night] for women in midlife, and there are real, biological reasons behind it.
For one, hormonal changes during menopause are a big part of the story. As your estrogen and progesterone levels drop, they mess with the systems that help you stay asleep and feel calm. Progesterone plays a natural role in helping your body relax and unwind, so when levels are low, it can be harder for your body to settle into restful sleep.
Then there’s cortisol, the stress hormone. It’s supposed to stay low at night, but during menopause, it can get out of whack and spike in the early hours of the morning. Add in the constant life stressors – like juggling work, family, and your own health – and your body ends up on high alert even when it’s time to rest.
And this is where your brain steps in. Your primitive brain, the part that’s wired to keep you alive, is all about avoiding pain, seeking pleasure, and conserving energy. When you wake up at 3am, your brain might be confusing emotional discomfort with hunger. It’s not that you actually need food – it’s that your brain is looking for something to make you feel better, and it knows that a quick hit of sugar or carbs will do the trick.
The real issue here isn’t just about what’s happening at 3am – it’s about what’s happening underneath it all. Your body and brain are responding to the chaos of midlife, from hormonal shifts to emotional stress to feeling overwhelmed by life’s demands. That 3am craving is like the tip of the iceberg and the real work is in addressing what’s below the surface.
So, when you’re lying in bed, and staring at the ceiling, your mind is racing with everything you didn’t get done today and everything waiting for you tomorrow. You’re exhausted, but you can’t turn your brain off. Your body feels restless, maybe even a little sweaty, thanks to a hot flush. Then, out of nowhere, you start thinking about food. Maybe it’s cookies, maybe chips [or in my case, a blueberry muffin] – but something comforting nonetheless. It’s not because you’re truly hungry, but because your brain is trying to soothe all the discomfort.
And we all know that science backs this up. There are a tonne of studies that show menopause can wreak havoc on your sleep, with more than half of women reporting insomnia at this stage of life. The night sweats and hot flushes don’t help either – they wake you up and leave you feeling awful. And when you’re not getting enough deep sleep, it throws off two key hormones: ghrelin, which makes you feel hungry, and leptin, which tells you you’re full. So even if you weren’t craving snacks before, your body is now pushing you toward them. Go figure!
On top of that, emotional dysregulation – feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or just plain “off” – is really common in midlife. Whether it’s ADHD traits [or any other neurodevelopmental condition], hormonal shifts, or the sheer pressure of balancing everything, your brain can struggle to handle emotions. And when that happens, it looks for quick fixes, like food. So, it’s not about willpower – it’s about how your brain is wired to seek relief.
And let’s not forget the primitive brain, which is always working behind the scenes. It’s designed to protect you, but sometimes it gets things wrong. When you wake up stressed or uncomfortable, it might think you’re in some kind of danger and send out a signal to eat for quick energy. This is why those sugary or starchy foods pop into your head – they’re the fastest way for your brain to feel safe again.
Now, some people might say, “Well, if you’re waking up at 3am craving food, just don’t eat!” But it’s not that simple. These types of “cravings” have nothing to do with a lack of willpower – they’re about what’s happening in your brain and body. And when your hormones, stress levels, and emotions are out of balance, no amount of self-control will fix the deeper issue.
Others might argue that if you just eat better during the day or stick to a strict sleep routine, you won’t wake up at night. While those things are helpful, they’re not the whole answer. If your body is dealing with menopause symptoms, stress, or emotional dysregulation, no perfect bedtime or diet will stop you from waking up. You need to address the bigger picture.
And then there are those who might dismiss the whole thing, saying it’s just part of getting older. But that’s not true. While midlife comes with its challenges, you don’t have to just “live with it.” Understanding what’s going on and making small, targeted changes can make a huge difference.
Now, not every woman who wakes up at 3am will experience cravings, and not every craving is caused by hormones or stress. Your personal health, lifestyle, and unique circumstances all play a role.
For instance, if you’ve got good support and access to resources like hormonal therapy or stress management tools, you might not feel the same level of impact. On the other hand, if you’re navigating midlife transitions alone or dealing with undiagnosed neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD, these issues might feel even harder to manage.
The important thing is recognising that 3am wake-ups aren’t random – they’re usually a sign that your body and mind are trying to tell you something.
This is exactly one of the things we do in Midlifestyle School. We address quality sleep as it’s pivotal to how we function and show up every day. We address the underlying factors that contribute to interrupted sleep and teach you how to achieve 7-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
We address regulating your cortisol by encouraging a calming bedtime routine to prevent nighttime cortisol spikes. This could include deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation [tensing and releasing different muscle groups], or gentle stretching [or yoga – which is stretching really!].
Something else we encourage is taking supplements such as melatonin supplements, magnesium, or herbs such as ashwagandha, which are know to help stabilise the sleep-wake cycle.
We also suggest things such as balancing your blood sugar with a protein-rich snack before bed to prevent blood sugar dips, cognitive-behavioural techniques or journalling before bed to help process stress, as well as teach you how to distinguish between true hunger and cortisol-driven cravings by pausing to assess whether they’re physically hungry or emotionally stressed.
By doing one or more of these, you will wake up in the morning feeling rested and clear-headed, without the frustration of being wide-awake at 3am, nor the guilt associated with it as it’s mostly disguised as nighttime cravings. That kind of peace is possible when you take the time to address what’s really going on – balancing your hormones, managing stress, and learning how to work with your brain instead of against it.
You don’t have to let 3am wake-ups (or cravings!) control your nights. By understanding the bigger picture, you can start making changes that not only improve your sleep but also help you feel better in every part of your life.
My question to you is – are you one of the many women in midlife waking up in the middle of the night? If so, are you truly waking up because you’re hungry? Or is your mind racing around thinking of all the things you need to “worry” about?
And, whilst I have you! I love when you reply, and if you like this type of content and have any ideas for any other content you would like from me, I would to love to hear.
