You might find yourself wondering why it’s so hard to know when you’re hungry or full. And it’s not that you’re ignoring your body because I know you care and you’re paying attention. But those signals have become so faint over the years that it feels impossible to tune into them.
You might notice yourself reaching for food, not because you’re physically hungry, but because you’re stressed, bored, or because it’s just there. And even when you do eat, you might wonder…
…should I feel full by now?
…why can’t I figure this out?
This isn’t happening because you’re not trying hard enough or because you’ve failed in some way.
And we’re not blaming anyone, including willpower. Because what we’re really talking about here is interoception, and how it’s been disrupted over time by a combination of factors: biological, emotional, and environmental. And this isn’t a question of effort or failure. It’s about understanding the root cause of what’s happening in your body and brain.
Interoception is like the body’s internal communication system. It tells you when you’re hungry, when you’re full, and when your emotional or physical needs aren’t being met. But over the years, that system can get out of sync.
Think about how many times life has demanded more from you than you could realistically give, forcing you to ignore your body’s needs just to get through the day.
Maybe you skipped meals, ate at your desk, or pushed through exhaustion because everything else felt more urgent.
Over time, those moments add up, and your brain adapts by tuning out the signals you’ve been forced to suppress.
And this is where biology plays a huge role here. Hormonal changes, especially during menopause, can affect the way your body communicates hunger, fullness, and energy needs.
On top of that, if you’ve been navigating neurodevelopmental challenges, like ADHD, your brain may naturally struggle to process those interoceptive signals. It’s not a failure on your part…it’s how your brain is wired.
And then there’s life itself. The pressure to manage everything – work, family, relationships, health – these can all push self-awareness and self-care to the back burner.
When you’re constantly in “go” mode, your brain adapts by prioritising survival over subtler cues like hunger or fullness.
It’s not about willpower. It’s about a system that’s been overworked, under-supported, and conditioned to focus on immediate needs rather than long-term balance.
You might also notice how emotional eating fits into this picture. It’s not about a lack of control – it’s often about finding a moment of relief.
Maybe after a long day, you grab a handful of snacks, not out of hunger, but because it offers a sense of comfort or escape.
Or perhaps you’ve felt that pull toward food late at night when everything else has quietened down, and it feels like the only way to fill an emotional gap you can’t quite name. These moments aren’t random – they’re deeply tied to how your brain and body have adapted to manage stress and emotion over time.
When interoception becomes dulled, it affects more than just hunger and fullness. It can create a domino effect across your emotional and physical wellbeing.
You might find yourself feeling disconnected in other ways too…unsure of how to rest when you’re tired, missing the cues that tell you when you need a break…
…or feeling out of sync with what you actually need to feel good in your body.
These aren’t isolated issues…they’re interconnected, forming a pattern that can feel nearly impossible to break.
So, we’re not blaming willpower or anything else. Instead, we’re shifting the perspective to recognise how interoception has been affected by the realities of your life and biology. This lens isn’t about assigning blame – it’s about creating clarity.
When you understand that this isn’t a matter of trying harder, you can stop beating yourself up and start focusing on what really matters…rebuilding the connection with your body, step by step, with compassion.
The key is understanding this connection. Hunger and fullness aren’t just about food as you well and truly know – they’re tied to your emotions, hormones, and the way your body processes stress.
Once you start to recognise how these pieces fit together, it changes the way you see the problem. It’s no longer about forcing yourself to follow a rigid set of rules or judging yourself for the choices you make. It’s about starting to reconnect the dots and rebuild the trust between your brain and body, one moment at a time.
And the way forward isn’t about trying harder – it’s about trying differently.
If you’ve spent years trying to control your eating by following external rules, it’s time to approach things from the inside out.
The change begins with rebuilding a connection with your body, learning to notice its signals, and responding in a way that aligns with what you truly need.
So it isn’t just about food. It’s about creating a relationship with your body that feels calm, clear, and reliable – something that has likely felt out of reach for a long time.
And I’m fully aware you’ve already tried plenty of things to solve this. I know you’ve followed diets that told you exactly what to eat and when, only to feel like a failure when you couldn’t stick to them.
Or perhaps you’ve tried strict rules about counting calories, fasting windows, or eliminating certain foods.
These approaches might have worked for a little while, but they never addressed the deeper issue – the disconnection between you and your body. Instead, they kept you focussed on external systems, reinforcing the belief that you can’t trust yourself to get it right on your own.
To do this differently, you need to start small, focussing on awareness rather than action at first. It’s not about immediately fixing what feels broken…it’s about learning how to listen again.
Awareness starts with creating a moment of stillness – just enough to shift your attention inward, where your body has been quietly speaking all along. It’s not about forcing anything or expecting instant clarity. Instead, it’s about giving yourself permission to notice what’s happening, without judgment.
That pause before taking your first bite may seem simple, even insignificant, but it’s an act of curiosity. It’s like gently knocking on a door that’s been closed for years, opening it just a crack to see what’s on the other side.
When you pause and ask yourself “How hungry am I right now?”, you’re not searching for a perfect answer.
Maybe it’s a vague sense of emptiness, a physical growl, or nothing at all. Whatever you notice is a clue, a piece of the puzzle. The key is to stay open to whatever comes up, without trying to label it as “right” or “wrong.” If the answer feels unclear, that’s okay too. Your body isn’t used to being heard, so it may take time for those signals to come through clearly. What matters is the act of noticing – the first step toward rebuilding trust.
Awareness also means tuning into more than just hunger. Your body communicates in a number of ways, and learning to listen involves exploring these signals with curiosity.
For instance, as you pause, you might realise your body feels tense or restless. Maybe your shoulders are tight, or your jaw is clenched.
These physical sensations often carry emotional information. They might tell you that stress is present, or that you’re craving comfort. The hunger you feel might not be about food at all, but about needing a moment to relax or decompress.
This is why listening goes beyond just recognising physical cues – it’s about connecting the dots between your body, your emotions, and your needs.
You might also start noticing patterns in how your body feels around food. Does hunger build gradually, or does it suddenly hit, demanding immediate attention?
When you’re eating, how do you know when you’re satisfied?
These questions aren’t about finding definitive answers right away – they’re about developing a sense of curiosity and patience with yourself. The more you tune in, the more you’ll start to recognise the subtle ways your body communicates, ways that may have been drowned out by years of external rules or emotional overwhelm.
Listening to your body isn’t a skill you master overnight – it’s a relationship you rebuild over time.
At first, the pauses may feel awkward, even frustrating, especially if you’re not used to slowing down. But as you practice, these moments of awareness become anchors, helping you feel more connected to yourself.
You might notice that the act of pausing itself brings a sense of calm, as though you’re finally giving your body space to be heard.
This process is also about learning to trust what your body tells you. Because for so long, you may have relied on external guidance – the calories, the points, the meal plans – to dictate what and when you eat.
But your body has its own wisdom, its own way of signalling what it needs.
And by practicing awareness, you’re letting go of the need for control and instead embracing a mindset of discovery.
Over time, you’ll find that your body’s signals become clearer, and responding to them feels less like an effort and more like a natural rhythm.
And awareness isn’t about perfection or always getting it “right.” It’s about showing up for yourself in small, consistent ways. Each time you pause, listen, and notice, you’re taking a step toward reconnecting with the signals that have always been there, waiting for you to tune in.
And as those signals grow stronger, you’ll find that the choices you make around food and your body come not from a place of force, but from a place of trust and understanding.
This approach differs from what you may have done in the past because it isn’t about restricting or controlling – it’s about curiosity.
You’re shifting the focus from following a plan to discovering what your body is actually communicating. Think of it like meeting someone you’ve grown distant from. At first, the conversation might feel awkward or strained, but with time and consistent effort, the trust grows, and the connection strengthens.
The same happens with your body. As you practice tuning in, the signals become clearer, and the choices you make start to feel natural instead of forced.
You might also notice something surprising along the way: the emotional pull toward food begins to change.
When you start listening to your body’s true needs, the urge to eat for comfort or distraction starts to lose its intensity.
This isn’t about denying yourself. It’s about understanding yourself.
For instance, instead of grabbing a snack when you’re stressed, you might recognise that what you really need is a moment to breathe or step away from a stressful situation. The more you practice this, the more you’ll realise that food was never the problem – it was just the most accessible solution at the time.
What makes this approach so powerful is how it aligns with the deeper part of you that longs for peace and clarity.
Beneath the frustration, you likely want to feel at ease in your body, to trust yourself to make choices that support you without feeling like it’s a battle.
And this approach taps into that desire, offering a path that feels aligned with who you are and what you want, instead of fighting against it. It gives you a way to take back control – not through force, but through understanding.
As much as we wish, it won’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. This is about progress, not perfection. And with time and consistent practice, the disconnection you feel now will begin to fade.
You’ll find yourself making choices that feel intuitive rather than reactive.
Food will become less about managing emotions and more about nourishing your body.
And most importantly, you’ll start to trust yourself again, knowing that your body is capable of guiding you when you take the time to listen. That trust is where the real transformation begins.
As you begin to rebuild the connection with your body, something changes.
You start to notice patterns that were hidden before…
…when your body feels hungry
…and even when it’s trying to tell you that it needs something other than food.
These small moments of awareness create a foundation for deeper changes. You’re no longer reacting to food out of habit or emotion but instead making choices that align with what your body truly needs. It’s a gradual process, but with every step, you gain clarity and confidence.
Over time, this approach leads to outcomes that go far beyond just eating differently. You start to feel more at ease in your body because you’re no longer second-guessing every bite or obsessing over what you “should” be doing.
And this sense of alignment helps you break free from the exhausting cycle of emotional eating.
Instead of turning to food to cope with stress or emotions, you find new ways to meet those needs – whether it’s through rest, connection, or simply pausing to breathe. The change feels empowering because it’s no longer about fighting your body but working with it.
When you’re not weighed down by the frustration and guilt that comes with emotional eating, you have more mental space and energy to focus on the things that truly matter to you.
Your relationships improve because you’re more present and less distracted by the constant internal battle with yourself. You might even notice that your mood becomes more stable as you’re no longer riding the highs and lows of reactive eating.
As these changes take root, the outcome becomes clear: a sense of freedom and trust in yourself that you haven’t felt in years.
You’re no longer chasing weight loss or fighting cravings – you’re simply living in a way that feels balanced and sustainable.
The number on the scale may change, but it’s not the focus anymore.
The real transformation is how you feel: lighter, not just in your body, but in your mind and emotions.
This journey is different for everyone.
But in the early months, you’ll likely notice subtle shifts – like the moments where you pause and recognise hunger cues, or, make a choice that feels intentional rather than automatic.
By six months, those small changes start to add up, creating momentum.
And within a year, this new way of relating to your body and food feels natural, as though the struggle you once carried has finally loosened its grip.
What makes this process so meaningful is that it isn’t about fixing yourself – it’s about rediscovering the connection that’s always been there. And as that connection grows, so does your confidence in your ability to care for yourself in ways that feel authentic and lasting.
This is the outcome you’ve really been searching for: a life where food is no longer a source of stress, but simply one part of a bigger, more peaceful picture.
And the by-product of achieving this outcome is weight loss. Now, of course, whilst eating mostly wholesome foods when you’re hungry is certainly going to help you lose weight, you’ll be wanting to incorporate some form of daily exercise.
For me, that’s a daily 60-min walk as well as 15-min upper or lower body strength training workout on alternate days. But you need to find what works for you, and it could simply be walking to begin with – even 5 minutes a day – increasing that bit by bit.
And I was able to lose 34kg over an eight month period without following rigid “dieting” rules.
And this is what I teach in Midlifestyle School – designed specifically for women in midlife who have struggled with emotional eating their entire life. Because those “6 Week Weight Loss Challenges” only work for the six weeks – and then you default back to your old ways…all because the reprogramming of how your brain has been operating for decades, was never addressed. And so the yo-yo diet culture perpetuates.
I’m a visionary with a big heart and a huge mission. If you’ll let me, let’s make peace with our past and design a second half of life worth living for!
